


Not all it's Cracked up to be

by Spammy_Wits



Series: I'm Cracking up [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Hawkmoth is a third rate villain, Random - Freeform, but an excellent punster, choose your own adventure I guess?, drunk and can't find shoes!, good at standardized test but hates them!, ran out of cereal!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:43:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14400468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spammy_Wits/pseuds/Spammy_Wits
Summary: I'll be turning random people into punny named supervillains with dumbass reasons to be akumatized just for my own amusement. If any reader wants to be featured in a chapter please let me know.





	1. Chapter 1

Being possessed by an evil butterfly was quite the trending topic during the first few weeks after Stoneheart and his subsequent defeat, the city of Paris had suddenly become the main stage of a superhero movie and everyone had the possibility of becoming one of the colorfoul villains with the most strange powers. Polls online and personality tests were made for those who wondered what their power would be if they suddenly got the attention of the butterfly themed maniac that had taken them hostage, using the word very loosely.

The problem was that Hawkmoth had no self-respect whatsoever. He was not above possessing people with the most stupid reasons to be angry (like that one time with the baby that wanted candy), and that was terrible news for every short-tempered person out there.  
  


 

* * *

 

  
  
Amy had been having an awful day so far: First she was kept awake all night studying for a test, then she hits snooze in her alarm clock so many times that despite being prepared to arrive one hour earlier to class she would have to make do with just half an hour to get ready and then practically fly to school, barely getting there on time.

It was annoying but it was okay, she could work with that and she was at fault anyways...

When she went to the kitchen, though, everything changed. She pours the milk and then reaches up in search of her favorite cereal just to find that it was too light to have anything left inside. She had seen it yesterday, before going to buy some groceries, and innocently believed that there was enough for breakfast because _if-the-box-is-not-in-the-trash-it's-not-supposed-to-be-empty_ and her brother WILL pay **dearly** for this mistake. So great was her fury that she didn't realize it when a little purple butterfly landed on her innocent box of S'mores. 

  
"Hello S'mortal, my name is Hawkmoth"


	2. Chapter 2

Campbell was not doing okay.

 

He had walked across the room barely keeping straight on his own feet.

There was no doubt in his mind that he was completely and absolutely smashed... Funny thing is... He didn't mean to get that way, it just kind of started with a can of beer while watching a game on TV but ended up with a bunch of bottles on the floor.

 

He knew he was too dizzy to do just about anything, but then, just after he started contemplating a nap, he got a call from his aunt reminding him that he was to pick up his cousin from school.

For the record, it was the first time he heard anything about that and knowing his aunt she just forgot to pick him up and then decided to put the blame on him. It wasn't the first time it happened and surely it wouldn't be the last.

He looked at the clock in the living room forgetting for a moment that he was halfway out of his room and painfully crashed his head against the door's casing.

 

Mild annoyance made it's appearance then.

 

He tried again with pretty much the same result before deciding that he should check the time on his cell phone. He had fifteen minutes or so to get the little menace back safely.

 

Campbell sighed and shook his head in an effort to clear his blurry thoughts... Sadly, he still had the phone in his hand when he tried slapping himself into focus. With a way too strong wave, said cellphone flew away onto the carpeted floor and bounced to find its resting place far away under the couch. In blind despair he quickly walked there only to miscalculate and land his upper body on the armrest before rolling to the wrong side, falling with a thud beside it.

 

Irritation was oh so slowly taking over.

 

After five minutes trying to force his hand into a space that was visibly too small for him, he decided to forget about it and go on his way.

 

Finally, Campell was about to go in his noble quest when he realized he had no shoes on, he swiped the place with his eyes getting a wave of nausea in the process but could only see one sneaker... He was almost certain that there were supposed to be two, he reached down to pick up the one he did see... Falling flat on his face...On the shoe. The young adult screamed loudly in frustration and suddenly he saw some glowy thingy out of the corner of his eye.

  
  
"Hello, Shoe Lasher. I think you could use some help..."  
  


* * *

 

  
  
The newspapers the next day would point and laugh at the akuma with the shoe tied around his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I searched for synonyms of being drunk everywhere until I found one fit enough for a pun. Lashed(drunk)/lasher(hit with a whip)/lashing out(outburst of anger/laces(used to tie up a shoe)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frederick Kelly, the inventor of the multiple choice tests championed against the method and against standardized tests in general for years before his death:
> 
> “This is a test of lower order thinking for the lower orders.”

"May I have a word, monsieur Quimper?"

  
  
"Yes, of course. Any doubt about your evaluation?"

  
  
That's how it started. Though, it didn't end in as good terms as it began. The teacher was an approachable yet old school kind of person, a mouse-like mustache and eternal red nose his trademark looks.

  
  
No matter how hard she tried, which explanation Elena gave him, he could not possibly understand why she was claiming the test was wrong if she had aced it. Fair enough, she almost had the best score in the class.

 

  
"But it was not because of assimilated knowledge, it was because I learnt the typically correct answer from past tests... But... Here! See? Three of the questions have at least two right answers, one takes a literal approach when the phrase is clearly an idiom and half the others are just repeating the book word by word!" She frantically tried to get her point across, showing him the annotation's she had made besides the questions. In her haste she almost shoved the teacher head-first into the page.

  
  
"Since you are so outraged by a passing grade, should I lower it?" He said, rearranging his wrinkled suit.

  
  
She had no option, feeling a sense of imminent danger, Elena asked for forgiveness and left the room in a hurry.

  
  
As soon as she entered the bathroom she punched the wall, it was not fair. Many classmates in her study group knew more than her, some even studied twice as hard but failed just the same. No... It felt wrong to get a good grade just because she was better at getting cues, patterns and picking the right answer by context... Not when she had taken the time to learn and comprehend the content. If only she could make the teachers understand that standardized test were useless...Her worn out 2B felt a little heavier than before, she noticed why a little too late.

  
  
"Standarized Jester, I think we could reach a mutually beneficial agreement. What do you say?"

  
  
"Sounds great! They'll be cracking their minds with my multiple ejections test!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think that this was a silly reason to be akumatized, but I'm happy to comply with a good request


End file.
